Spanky Ham and Ling Ling and the Word Smoo
by TheGypsyLover04
Summary: Spanky Ham and Ling Ling learn a bad word from the dumpster of the Drawn Together Restaurant one night, which makes Foxxy Love go apeshit. Rated T for use of the word smoo.
1. Spanky Ham learns how to curse

A/NThis story you are about to read is completely aside from what I usually write. Honestly, if it gets reviews, I might do more Drawn Together fanfics (maybe). I don't watch Drawn Together that much because of the fact that I'm a minor (I'm 14) but I like this one chick named Foxxy Love. So, let's continue, shall we? Again, inspired by Spongebob and written in the style of a play.

 **Foxxy Love:** Well, it's the worst time of the day once again.[cringes as she changes the "Open" sign to "Closed"]Closing time!

Spanky Ham: Well, see you in the A.M., Foxxy Love.

 **Foxxy Love** : Hold on there, Spanky Ham! [pulls Spanky Ham back in a creepy manner] Take that pile of filth out with you. [Clara holds up a trash bag with flies flying around it]

Spanky Ham: [gasps] Foxxy Love, you shouldn't talk about Princess Clara like that!

 **Clara** : She means this filth, you dummy! _[She_ drops the bag on the floor]

Spanky Ham goes to the dumpster while bringing the trash bag]

Spanky Ham: [singing] Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash.

[Spanky Ham throws the trash in the dumpster and then looks at some writings on the dumpster]

Spanky Ham: Hmm...dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with air, down with bubbles!" [laughs] "Foxes are people too!" [laughs] Ha, those Foxes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Clara smells. [writes the word "good" after "smells"] Good. [laughs] Hmm, what's this one? Foxxy is a... hmm? Foxxy is a [smoo].

Garbage Man: [Clearly disgusted] Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Spanky Ham: Well, sometimes, but not... Recently.

 **Ling Ling** : Hi, garbage man. Hi, Spanky Ham.

Spanky Ham: Hi, Ling Ling! Hey, Ling Ling, do you know what this word means?

 **Ling Ling** : "Foxxy..." Uh, isn't she the hot black chick you work for?

Spanky Ham: [pointing to "Foxxy," then the unseen word as they are said] Nah-uh, not that word, that word.

 **Ling Ling** : Hmm...[smoo]! Oh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.

Spanky Ham: Sentence enhancers?

 **Ling Ling** : You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-o! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!

Spanky Ham: Oh, I get it! Let me try. [clears his throat] Hello, Ling Ling. Lovely [smoo] day we're having, isn't it?

 **Ling Ling** : Why, yes it is, Spanky Ham. This [smoo] day is particularly [smoo] lovely!

Spanky Ham: How [smoo] right you are, Ling Ling!

[The two say the word a couple of times]

Spanky Ham: Ooh, You're right, Ling Ling, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.

 **Ling Ling** : Oh, mine too!

[both laugh]

Spanky Ham: It tingles when I laugh!

[Spanky Ham walks into the Drawn Together Restaurant the next day]

Spanky Ham: Hello, customers, nice [smoo] day we're having, uh? [The customers stop eating and stare in shock]

Toot Braunstein: [gasps] Did he just say?!

Xandir: Aye, he did.

Spanky Ham: Hey, Ling Ling, how the [smoo] are ya?

Ling Ling: [sitting at table at the Drawn Together Restaurant] Pretty [smoo] good, Spanky Ham.

Captain Hero: I thought this was a restaurant, not a potty mouth convention.

Spanky Ham: [taps on the microphone and speaks into it] Attention, customers, today's special is a [smoo] Chesney Cake served in a greasy [smoo] chocolate sauce and grilled to [smoo] perfection. [a mother of several of Wooldoor Sockbat's siblings covers her laughing children's ears and puts soda on one since she doesn't have enough hands] And don't forget to ask us to [smoo] the [smoo] fries. It will be our [smoo] pleasure. [Princess Clara hears the intercom and a giant monkey ear pops out of her head; she pushes it back in] Hi Princess Clara, how the [smoo] are ya?

Ling Ling : Nice [smoo] day, isn't it Clara?

Chad: I don't understand. That guy's talented, he doesn't have to work blue.

Charlotte: Let's go somewhere more family oriented.

[Everyone leaves the Drawn Together Restaurant, grumbling in frustration]

Female Drawn Together universe resident: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] I'm never eating here again.

Male Drawn Together universe resident: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] Those foul-mouth bottom feeders.


	2. Foxxy busts Spanky and Ling Ling

This is the continuation. Enjoy!

* * *

 _[The Drawn Together Restaruant customer meter is running down; sirens wail and a red light flashes]_

 **Foxxy:** _[in the bathroom, hears the sirens]_ Huh? _[looks through the periscope, sees that the Drawn Together Restaruant is empty and gasps]_ The Drawn Together Restaruant, he's empty! _[runs to dining room with toilet paper stuck to one of her legs]_ All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Clara, where have all me money paying customers gone?

 **Clara:** Apparently, the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and Spanky just said it over the intercom.

 **Foxxy:** Well, what was it? What'd he say?

 **Clara:** Er...he said...um, well he said...

 _[Clara whispers]_

 **Foxxy:** Huh? _[Clara whispers it again; Foxxy gasps]_ Spanky Ham and friend! Front and center! Why, the Foxxy oughta make the two of you paint the Drawn Together Restaruant for using such language!

 **Spanky:** But Ms. Foxxy, we were only using our sentence enhancers.

 **Ling Ling:** Yeah, it's fancy talk.

 **Foxxy:** There ain't nothing fancy about that word!

 **Spanky:** You mean _[smoo]_?

 **Foxxy:** Yes, that one! _[Spanky and Ling Ling stand up]_ Now quit saying that! _[Spanky and Ling Ling frown]_ It's a bad word!

 **Spanky and Ling Ling:** Bad word?! _[both start wiping their tongues]_

 **Foxxy:** Yes sirree, that's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.

 **Clara:** Don't you mean there are only 7?

 **Foxxy:** Not if you're a sailor. _[laughs]_

 **Spanky:** Wow, 13.

 **Ling Ling:** That's a lot of _[smoo]_ bad words.

 **Foxxy:** OK, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again.

 **Spanky and Ling Ling:** We promise. _[later at SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob and Patrick are playing Eels and Escalators]_

 **Spanky:** Gee, I'm glad Foxxy told us that word we were using was a bad word.

 **Ling Ling:** Yeah, me too, because Drawn Together characters like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.

 **Spanky:** Yea, verily. Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.

 **Ling Ling:** Oh, boy, my favorite! _[Flops arms up and down like a seal]_

 **Spanky:** Come on, Wooldoor needs a new pair of shoes! _[rolls the dice]_


End file.
